As I come to the end of 6 hours Of conscious discipline training I’m thankful for the renewed commitment. I am so blessed that our children this year are kind, helpful, and amazing little self regulation buddies. It never hurts, especially the beginning of the year to get a shot in the arm to continue on and do your best. Some of the high points for me during this training :
Think about the pause that many of us had to take during Covid. All of the routines that we knew that made life happen in a pattern decreased or changed. Many of us including myself felt off-balance or without direction. I am very much a schedule person. So this is the way the children feel when their life is full of chaos and they have no control over it. This is the way children feel when there’s no routine in their life. If you walk into my home with all of these children here you would be amazed at the peace and calmness that you feel. Sure, it might get loud momentarily when a child is excited or when we have the music going but it’s still not a feeling of chaos. The reason for that is because we have a very predictable routine. We have rituals that we go through every day pretty much the same time of day. The children know what to expect. There are no overwhelming surprises of or fear of what might happen in a given day . Are your routines at home predictable? Are they chaotic?
The motivation to behave comes from the quality of the relationships. Some of this even boils down to individuals we are around all the time like our children. When you have conversations with them are you slowing down to look in their eye and connecting with them. I know as a young mom many times I would give directions or conversation while I was engaged in other activities. SURVIVAL ! I think that’s where the term “ in a minute” comes from.In a minute turns into about four hours.
Children have different triggers that cause misbehavior. It may be that they’re hungry. It may be that they’re scared. There are many that we can dive into at some point in a more detailed fashion. I will give you an example from my own life. When my mother was in hospice care they used a room spray from Glade. I never thought much about it until I entered a hotel room with that same smell and every emotion I had was triggered. I had a little mini nervous breakdown. So I was having a great evening and Randy and I were out for date weekend and one smell made me a basket case. So I wonder… if we as parents have triggers that cause our behavior to change then surely children do. And have you been able to identify any triggers that your own children have. When they get hungry do they get grumpy? When they get tired are their emotions all over the place? When we know those triggers we can address them and be proactive.
And one of the last things I’ll share with you from my class is failure triggers. When a child attempts a skill that they are struggling with how do they react ? Are they a “ try-Er” ? Do they hang in there with persistence ? Are they “ a sigher, and get discouraged easily ? Are they a fly-Er – and run from challenges , Or are they a crier and have a complete meltdown . When you know your child’s trigger tendencies you can be prepared to help .
That was my six hours in a nutshell. I hope you value my professional development as much as I do. Fall is always heavy in trainings and it seems virtual is not causing that to slow down at all.
While I was busy training the children we’re having fun with Miss Katy. Today, they watched “Spookly the Square pumpkin” story and then made their very own. Yum .