This week we’re still digging a little deeper into the discussion of consequences. While delivering consequences there are three intentions.
1. You have the intention to punish by making children feel guilty or bad￼￼. This is done by losing your temper and saying things like ” you knew better than to do this. I am so angry. You’re a bad kid ” when this happens all we are causing is for the child to focus on us and how they should react to us instead of the consequences of whatever behavior took place. ￼￼￼
2. You have the intention to save a child. I think at some point in our life we have all been or experienced helicopter moms. I’m pretty certain I was one during my kids high school years. Rescuing children means running to school with forgotten lunches, signing field trip permission slips or signing reading logs when actually no reading took place. The result of this is children learning to manipulate adults and others to rescue them protect them from their own consequences. ￼ ￼￼
3. You have the intention to teach your child something to allow them to feel all of the feelings, think about what has happened as a result and be responsible for their choices.
Our goal as parents and teachers should be to constantly think about why we are delivering a consequence and my hope is for it to be a teaching opportunity. ￼￼