The ” Power of Love ” or the ” Power of Positive Intent ” is always looking for the best in others. It is easy to see the best in children when they are doing what we want them to do. Is it more difficult to see the best when they are having a hard day and not doing exactly what you need them to do ? You have heard the expression ” glass half full ” or ” glass half empty .” Both glasses are the same – it is just viewed or expressed differently from people. Some people look outside and see the dark clouds and the rain. Other people look outside the same window and see flowers being watered and an impending rainbow.
Becky Bailey says ” The paradox is that children who make ” poor choices ” feel poorly about themselves. They are the ones who have not consistently had others see the best in them . Positive intent has the power to turn children around, changing aggressive children into cooperative members of your classroom .”
When I think of this ” power ” I often think about kiddos that are having a hard day. Do we actually think they got up and said ” I am going to make Ms Debbie’s day hard today by…. pushing , hitting , breaking..” That is highly doubtful. As their teacher I am going to look at that behavior and consistently remind myself to place good intentions on the situation . Instead of ” you hit because you are mean.” It becomes ” you wanted to play.. you didn’t know how to ask.. I can help you.. repeat after me. ” That is called reframing. Children are either extending love or calling for love ( or help. )
Children are mean ! Changes to ” Children haven’t learned social skills. They need my help.
He is hurtful for no reason ! Changes to ” He needs my help handling frustration. ”
She is just plain lazy . Changes to ” She’s tired or doesn’t understand what I am asking.”
Children call for help in many ways :
Crying – hitting – withdrawing – rebellion –
Regardless the situation you can always assume the child lacks a skill and needs your help. If we are going to make up the child’s intent in our head we might as well make it positive .
Here is today’s affirmation that conscious discipline is alive and well in our classroom. Grayson fell down and hurt his knee . Malea’s classroom job is the buddy. She was nearby and I said ” Malea , your friend Grayson needs help. Can you help him ? ” As you can see from the picture they did the balloon calm down technique and all is right in our world.
Conscious Discipline not only helps children gain control of their emotions but also enables others to be helpers. The world could use a lot more helpers. I am the children’s safe keeper and I will keep them safe and make sure they are ok. But every chance I get I will be asking a friend to help… not because I am lazy or don’t care but because the most valuable gift they can leave preschool with is empathy and the ability to help others.